Cold Turkey

So I've gone cold turkey, today is my first drug free day for about 40 days, woo hoo!

I'm feeling better today compared to the emotional rollercoaster of yesterday, I've reverted to my favourite coping strategy, denial. It's not happening . . . what's not happening?

Symptom wise I'm doing ok today (is that because I'm drug-free?), my OH said I woke up this morning cradling my bosom (.)(.) ha ha! they are feeling tender today and after lunch the tummy bloating started, two of the known side effects of the Ovitrelle HCG trigger shot. The bloating has continued this evening, tummy feels quite weird really, firm in some places, like my ovaries might burst, I hope there are a lot of eggies waiting.

I'm still petrified about tomorrow but not much I can do about it right now, instead I've packed my little bag so I'm ready to go. I over analyse everything and so I've come to the conclusion that I'm so worried about tomorrow because:

• It's the fear of the unknown, 
• It seems like this is the most invasive procedure in the cycle, and 
• Will I cope with the pain and discomfort of it all.

Not sure when I'll next be back at work, could be Monday, could be late next week maybe (not that I could concentrate much today). I guess this depends on many factors, all of which are out of my control - how many eggs? what quality will the eggs be? am I at risk of OHSS? what quality will my OH's tadpoles be? how many will be suitable for ICSI? how many will fertilise? will they survive? when will the transfer be? so sooo many hurdles.
Anyhoo, needless to say I've said my mantra in my head a couple of times today to get me through it. 

• Take one day at a time 
• Be strong 
• I can do this

Would love to be able to fast forward to about midday tomorrow, when egg collection will be over and it will be another hurdle passed.