Blast Off

 

Amazingly, we have 'blast' off,  what a ball of nerves Mr Moon and I have been this morning . . . worrying, wondering and waiting. There is no call on Day 4 and no call on the morning of the transfer so we arrived at the clinic this morning completely in the dark as to what awaited us. It wasn't until I was lying in the operating theatre that the embryologist told us the progress of our embryos -

DAY 5 UPDATE

• 1 good blastocyst - transferred
• 2 not so good blastocysts (not suitable for freezing)
• 3 embryo's pre blastocyst stage / morulas (will be checked on Day 6)

A huge sigh of relief to have finally made this stage to blastocyst for this first time. In cycle 1 we had a Day 5 transfer but our best embryo had only made it as far as the morula stage, in cycle 2 we had a Day 3 transfer.  

We had the good blastocyst transferred and now we wait some more, but for the time being we are enjoying being happy :-)

Wake Up Call

After our miraculous 100% fertilisation:

DAY 2 UPDATE

• 9 embryos growing
• 7 are very good

DAY 3 UPDATE

• 7 embryos growing
• 3 are good, 4 are average

Mr Moon and I were so anxious waiting for that call this morning! So so so pleased that we still have some embryo's in the running, as there are 3 that are 'good' the clinic suggest a Day 5 transfer as they can't decide which one has the most chance of success. As this cycle is a funded cycle and the latest rules for our Primary Care Trust are in effect we can only transfer one embryo this time round.

Yesterday I suffered some unexpected pain episodes from my egg collection procedure from 2 days ago. On my drive into work I experienced some pretty sharp intermittent stabbing pains and I struggled to get into the office. It was all a little scary at the time but after a while the pain subsided to a more constant pain but much less intense. I rang the clinic as this hadn't happened on my previous cycles, they suggested paracetamol and more water and to come into the clinic if it got worse in the afternoon, luckily it started to subside by the evening. I'm left with the odd painful twinge and so hopefully it's passing and never to return!

Although this is turning out to be our most promising cycle so far, we are both feeling very cautious about the whole thing, but I guess that's to be expected after our last two cycles. it's hard to let your mind imagine that we can get to the next stage, we can't take things for granted, we can simply hope for the best.

To re-cap on our last cycles in terms of Day 3 vs Day 5 transfer:

Cycle 1 (Bourn Hall Clinic) - We had a Day 5 transfer, after starting off with 8 embryo's by Day 5 none had progressed to the blastocyst stage, the best we had was a morula so it was a few hours behind and we had this one embryo transferred. No embryo's survived to freezing quality.

Cycle 2 (Herts & Essex Clinic) - We had a Day 3 transfer as there were 2 of the 6 embryo's that already stood out from the rest and so the clinic advised to have the two put back that day, we'll never know for sure whether these embryos progressed to the blastocyst stage, but we assume not. No embryo's survived to freezing quality.

We won't receive any more wake up calls now and my Day 5 transfer is scheduled for Saturday, fingers crossed that when we arrive at the clinic there is a moon-blast waiting for us to come home.

Ten Out of Ten

Top marks for us, I really can't believe it, we had our fertilisation report today -

DAY 1 UPDATE

• 11 eggs collected
• 10 mature and suitable for ICSI
• 10 embryos!

After a sleepless night, I feel a tad silly now for worrying that this cycle had produced the least number of eggs as we now have the most number of embryos at Day 1 from all our cycles and 100% fertilisation. Our last two cycles have been around the 60% fertilisation mark, so this feels like a bit of a miracle.  The embryologist also mentioned that Mr Moon's sample was borderline normal, yay, another first. So we're happy for today :-)

It's really early days, and I remain cautious as we're still not sure what will happen at Day 3, will our embryo's deteriorate like our past two cycles, or could we be third time lucky?

Egg collection yesterday was uneventful, I was super nervous beforehand like usual but all went fine with the stabbing of the ovaries! I didn't have the anaesthetist Mr Smooth this time, instead we had Mr Smiles . . . what is it with these anaesthetists, are they all on happy drugs?  I'm still a little tender today but taking it easy, hopefully this will have passed by tomorrow.

So we wait, worry and wait some more. 

Moonembies Landed

Just a quick update post transfer today, all went well and we have 2 moonembies on board, woo hoo :-)

We thought there would be a discussion with the consultant about how many to transfer but there was no need, they assumed we wanted two and so we just went with it. The procedure at this clinic was slightly different to my first clinic (mainly that it was not ultrasound guided, instead the consultant, Michael, and nurse assured us they have been transferring this method with success for years). Our embryologist, Nicola, talked us through the embryo's again and detailed the stages and grading. So pleased to hear there had been some further progress on our top two moonembies, they are now both 9-cells.

DAY 3 UPDATE AT TRANSFER

• 6 embryos growing
• 2 are good (one grade 1, one grade 2 - both 9-cells), 
• 4 are average (one grade 2-3, three grade 3) - will be taken to Day 5

They will continue to grow our other 4 moonembies but I'm guessing they will not make the grade for freezing based on our first IVF cycle and their current grading. Overall we're really pleased though and kinda excited. We had already come to the conclusion last time that maybe a Day 3 transfer might be best for us based on the quality of our embryos from Day 4 onwards but were willing to go with what the new clinic advised. It seems the quality of our top two moonembies are better this time round so hopefully a good sign.

We watched our moonembies on the screen (bizarre) and then they were loaded into the catheter for transfer and hey presto, the moonembies have landed and I hope they're getting all snuggly. Nicola gave us a couple of pictures too, apologies the quality is not great.

 

I read an article in the Guardian a while back that mentioned laughter can increase the success of IVF, I'm not sure if I believe it but thought it can't hurt and some other tweeps have been doing the same, so when we got back I got cosy with my blanket and we watched some stand up comedy :-) I also listened to the post transfer relaxation CD by Zita West to get me in the right frame of mind. On our first IVF cycle I didn't get the opportunity to rest and relax as my dad was taken very ill suddenly, so trying to make the most of it this time and also have an acupuncture session booked in with Dr Angel for tomorrow.

OH is taking good care of me and will slap my hand when he gets back from playing his weekly football match for writing a blog update, so better get back to resting :-)

Moonembies Coming Home

We still have 6 moonembies growing :-)

DAY 2 UPDATE

• 6 embryos growing
• 4 are good (grade 2), 2 are average (grade 3)

Here is today's update:

DAY 3 UPDATE

• 6 embryos growing
• 2 are good (one grade 1, one grade 2 - both 7-cells), 4 are average (one grade 2-3, three grade 3)

As there are two clear front runners they would prefer to do the transfer today, they will grow the others to Day 5 but if our last cycle is anything to go by then I think we might be doing the best thing by taking the best ones now and putting them back where they can hopefully be more cosy!
The debate over transferring one moonembie or two is continuing, I'm afraid of the risks of carrying two in my small frame (not sure if that matters) but anyhoo will see what they clinic say and go with their recommendation.
I'm scared and excited, all rolled into one moonball.

Six

Phew, we got the call this morning and the numbers are in, so far so good  -

DAY 1 UPDATE

• 13 eggs collected
• 10 mature and suitable for ICSI
• 6 embryos

So we have 6 ickle embies growing in a petri dish . . . a 60% fertilisation rate, the same rate as cycle 1, but we're hoping this time our embies are stronger.
As of last night I'm taking a progesterone supplement, last time I was on crinone, the new clinic has given my cyclogest this time, twice a day. I'm also due to start taking an antibiotic, doxycycline, prophylactically from today for one week to prevent any urinary tract infections.

Providing we get to transfer we can apparently take a CD with us to listen to music of our choice! Would be interested to hear if any of you have done this and what song you chose, help! :-)
 
And so we wait . . .

2ww

Well, this 2ww (two-week-wait) malarky is all a bit pants really.  
It feels different to the usual 2ww's as I'm not left wondering if the little eggie is meeting the little tadpole as I KNOW FOR A FACT they put an embryo back in there! All I need the little bean to do now is to find a nice resting place to implant in my lining and feel at home, how hard can that be? feels somewhat impossible.

I've not been able to blog for a few days as I had to travel up to my parent's place up North, my dad was much more ill than we had thought when I wrote my last post. Unfortunately he had another bleed in the brain (a different side to his first bleed) and this was pushing his brain to one side :-( He needed an urgent operation to drain the bleed and relieve the pressure. Thankfully the operation has gone well and he is recovering nicely, I'm hoping he can be discharged tomorrow and then me and OH will travel back home again (snow permitting!).  Not quite the relaxing start to the 2ww I had planned!
So back to topic! My embryo transfer was last Wednesday so today I think (still trying to get the lingo!) I am 4dp5dt which means 4 days past a 5-day transfer (although technically they transferred a morula rather than a blastocyst so maybe I should call it a 4-day transfer, who knows?).

Symptom check:
Generally - Think I still have the crinone/progestrone side effects like bloating
1dp5dt - Tried to relax, for what, maybe 2 hours, before getting news about my dad
2dp5dt - Some stomach cramps on and off all day, sore (.)(.)
3dp5dt - Cramps seem to have pretty much passed (bad sign?)
4dp5dt - Feeling pretty normal, (.)(.) not as sore any more . . . going mad!?

I'm not really sure what to make of it all, I didn't think I would over analyse all my symptoms (maybe that was silly to think I wouldn't do that as that sounds soooo like me, I love google!) . . . but I have, I've been looking up all sorts in case it's a sign, the result being that I've felt a bit up, a bit down, and a bit all over the place.

Anyhoo, I've persisted with eating the pineapple core and pineapple pieces, drinking pineapple juice and munching brazil nuts, bit sick of it now so I think I've done as much as I can to help with implantation.


It dawned on me this weekend that with blogging it means everyone following this, in real life, or in my infertility world, everyone knows EVERY step, there is no hiding. I know they are all waiting with me and wishing me well, but it does make me feel a bit vulnerable too, not sure how to fix that one.
Righty-ho, I think should do as OH says and put the laptop away and relax. . . hopefully my dad will be discharged tomorrow, the snow will magically disappear (and of course that the little bean has implanted) and we can head back home to some kind of normality. I'm a little sad that the start of my 2ww has not been as chilled and stress-free as I would have hoped, but you can't plan for these things and I had to be with my family, if my little embie makes it through all this then it must be a strong one.

One on board

Oh my, I have one embie on board!! 

Today was embryo transfer (ET) day and so technically I am pregnant until proven otherwise (PUPO), this term, although true, makes me feel a bit uneasy though as I cannot let myself believe the word 'pregnant' can be associated with me until I pass the next hurdle. I've been a right mix bag of emotions today, anxious, excited, relieved, fearful, hopeful, changes by the minute!

I called the clinic as instructed this morning but they could not tell me anything new and just confirmed by ET appointment for the afternoon. Whilst I was pleased about this I was still a little disappointed that they couldn't give me an update on how our embies were doing, especially after losing two yesterday I really wanted to know how they were.   

I was quite anxious last night too as I found out that my dad (who lives 3 hours away 'oop North) was feeling unwell and I can't remember if I've said before but just before starting IVF he became very ill unexpectedly in September.  He seemed to be making a remarkable recovery but unfortunately he fell ill again on Saturday and so this has set him back. My mum decided not to tell me to avoid stressing me out this week due to the stage of my IVF cycle but my brother knows me better and has let me know secretly (I prefer to have the facts) and so my mum is not yet aware that I know, complicated, yes.  Anyhoo, I was feeling anxious about this as I was worried that maybe his acute brain haematoma may be bleeding again, but if I think logically (and get a grip!), hopefully it is just an infection or something that can be sorted out soon, will have to wait and see. Fingers crossed, it’s difficult to be living away from my parents.

I’m rambling, back to embryo’s :-) On arrival at the clinic we were shown to possibly the smallest room ever, panic!? For a few seconds, we both thought maybe it wasn’t good news and no embies have survived, but the nurse quickly reassured it that this wasn’t the case. Again though, she wasn’t not able to give us any information whatsoever on our embies, so frustrating, gimme the details! Instead she explained the procedure and what to expect . . . I didn’t need a full bladder before arriving, she said sometimes there can be a half an hour wait so it was fine to start drinking from that point. First we met the consultant who would perform the ET, luckily it was the same consultant we had seen back in June so that was good and he was very smiley which was reassuring, although the first time I have had a MAN doing one of my procedures.  The embryologist then arrived, blink and you missed him, he could not wait to escape! He was quite vague and was reluctant to give any details on grading or quality (for my own good I’m sure, but frustrating all the same). He explained they would be transferring just the one embryo back (which I expected as they advocate the one at a time policy) and that it would be a morula.

Err, hold on a minute! took a couple of seconds to process, but so glad I had consulted Dr Google these past few days, I know that a morula is more of a Day 4 embryo and we were hoping for a Day 5 blastocyst. So before he escaped I asked him why, but he was still vague, he said it’s just a few hours behind being a blastocyst (I hope he’s right and I HOPE it does not affect my chances that it’s being a bit slower - OH likes to think it's 'laid-back'!). He said it’s a good morula, the other 2 to 3 embryo's are further behind.

Err, hold on a minute! I asked him to clarify, so there are only 4 left now and not 5, he confirmed that this was the case and he did not sound too hopeful that they would make the grade for freezing, my poor embies, and there goes my back up plan of escaping egg collection if there is to be a second cycle :-(  I blinked and he vanished.

Anyway, FOCUS, I'm still rambling! The procedure was absolutely fine in the end, bit like a smear test but took a bit longer (15 minutes from arriving in the room and meeting the consultant to being back in the waiting room). Me and my OH watched the ultrasound screen together, holding hands (aww) and we saw the catheter go in and then the embryologist returned briefly with the embryo in a thin tube of liquid and passed this over to the consultant for the transfer, hard to ask him any more flaming questions in the position I was in, picture this, legs in the air, practically upside down, not ideal, he escaped, ha!

And that was that, done . . . and then we smiled, how bizarre, there is one on board I hope getting all snuggly!

Fab 5

When the Lucky 7 became the Fab 5, please grow embies, grow and stay strong!

I knew the excitement from yesterday wouldn't last that long, I spoke too soon. If I'm honest, I'm a little gutted that we lost another two embryo's, poor embies :-( I know I just need to be realistic and remember that it's better that the embryo's that are not good enough are better out than in, I still don't know any grading yet so not sure how strong the Fab 5 are.

I'm still set for a Day 5 blastocyst transfer tomorrow, I have to call the clinic in the morning to check on how the embryo's are doing (I'm worried as I know Day 4 to Day 5 is a huge step) and then all being well (#hope) I will be having my transfer in the afternoon.

I've been wondering about the fresh pineapple thing, it's apparently supposed to help with the embryo transfer sticking, I'm a sucker for these things. I've read some conflicting reports though, some say eat the fresh pineapple and others say just the fresh juice (not from concentrate).  My lovely Twitterers (thank you) tell me that eating fresh pineapple (from the core if possible) for 3 - 5 days after transfer is good.  I think I read something about Brazil nuts too.

Here's hoping my Fab 5 make it through the night.

Lucky 7

When 8 became 7, the Lucky 7, grow embies grow :-)

So looks like I really am still set for a Day 5 blastocyst transfer on Wednesday, yippee. I was so anxious before I called the clinic today as I know Day 3 is a big milestone to get to and I was expecting that more of our embryos might not make it.  As I spoke to a nurse she was unable to tell me any information about the grading of the embryo's and explained that the embryologist will go through this on Wednesday, so I have to be patient a little longer (boo).

After that phone call, dare I say it, I felt a teeny weeny bit excited, the first time ever since starting this cycle. I'm so proud our embryo's have made it this far and hope they all keep strong till my transfer day.

I couldn't concentrate on work this afternoon so I did a sneaky bit of research about embryo's and the different stages and came across a useful website, www.pregnancyivf.com that explains it in simpleton terms:

Day 0  Egg retrieval day. 

Day 1  Eggs checked for fertilisation (looking for the presence of two pronuclei)
Day 2  Embryos that have successfully fertilised should be at the 4-cell stage or more.

Day 3  Embryos should be at the 8-cell stage or more. 

Day 4  Embryos will be at the compacted morula (16-32 cell) stage.
Day 5  Embryos will be at the blastocyst stage of development.

The most important stages in development are:

• Fertilisation
• 4 to 8 cell stage
• Morula to blastocyst stage

More hurdles to pass then! I also hope that I have some quality embryo's left to freeze too, apparently only 10-20% of patients have good quality embryo's to freeze, I'm not sure how true this is or what the cut-off grade is at my clinic to qualify for freezing, will cross that bridge if we get there.

Anyhoo, I will call the clinic again tomorrow and hope my Lucky 7 are still having fun in their petri dishes waiting for me.

Grow Embies Grow

Since my egg collection on Friday I have been busy recovering :-) I even would go as far to say that I feel rather upbeat too and excited about the next stages, now there's a first.

My Weekend:

Lots of attention from my lovely OH tick

Lots of rest tick

Lots of nice food including breakfast in bed tick

Caught up with lovely friends and family tick

I waited anxiously to call the clinic on Saturday at my allotted time to find out how my ickle eggies were doing, the day of egg collection is classed as Day 0 and so Saturday was Day 1 -

Day 1 Update
15 eggs collected
13 suitable for IVF/ICSI

8 embryo's growing, grow embies grow!

Phew! we have 8 little embies growing, thank goodness for that!  My paperwork from the clinic says to expect 70% to fertilise, so depending on how you look at it, of the eggs that were collected 53% fertilised, and of those that were mature and suitable for IVF/ICSI, 60% fertilised, so not too bad I suppose, I just hope they all survive now and are of eggcellant quality :-) Dr Google tells me that grading of the embryo's takes place around Day 3 so I hope I can find out this information when I call tomorrow. 
The clinic I am with usually transfers on Day 2 / 3 or Day 5 (blastocyst) and when I called they said I had enough embies to go forward for a Day 5 transfer (yippee) which is Wednesday (so back to work I go on Monday then). I would have really liked to have called again today to see how they are doing but the clinic were strict on the next update being on Monday, boo! I feel all protective over our little embies!

Whilst it's so nice to not be taking any injections or nasal sprays any more, I haven't fully escaped from all the drugs yet, after my egg collection I started taking Crinone, a progesterone vaginal gel, lovely! 

I have to 'administer' these once a day now in the evening and then walk around for 10-15 minutes to help it get absorbed, just what you want to do when the winter evenings are drawing in, but anyway my OH has said we can go out for a walk each evening along the river by where we live and so maybe it won't be so bad to get some fresh air. So far the side effects I have had have been sore (.)(.) and a bloated stomach, very attractive.

I've added another photo we secretly took, this is my chart of how my follicles were growing, fascinating for me, but maybe that's just because it's my follicles :-) I'm no expert but this chart also shows my endometrial lining thickness, I've just asked Dr Google and it varies what the ideal thickness is at this stage, some say between 8-13mm, and others say 7-12mm, so whichever I'm on the lower end of the range and hope I have a hospitable environment for our little embie. I have all my limbs crossed in the hope that our 8 little embies survive and get stronger each day, grow embies grow!