Monday, 21 February 2011

More Mooncat

Nothing is quite straightforward with Mooncat (thank you Arohanui at MyCheapViolin for the cool name!), I dropped her off at the vets on Friday so she could chill out there whilst they attempt to take a urine sample, a procedure called cystocentesis (ouch), but oh no . . . Mooncat had other ideas . . . she decided she wouldn't drink much that day and so after 3 attempts they decided her bladder was too small to take a sample.

So Mooncat is back home, happy as Larry. She'll have her anti-stress medication for a month and we'll see how she goes and maybe try again at a later date.

The brother - SIL saga continues, as I mentioned before I'm trying not to talk about it much on here as it is so upsetting but it's hard not to when it's occupying my mind a lot of the time. Via my brother she has accused me of things I haven't said, I have denied them and calmly given my side, there is no way I want a slanging match over it, I cannot understand why anyone would do this. I spoke to my brother last Thursday and thought we had made some head way, as it's unresolvable all we can do is put it behind us, I left him to speak with her about moving on from it as she doesn't need the stress (she is pregnant) and neither do I with my upcoming cycle, I'm looking for support from my family, not this. The next morning she sent me a very abusive text directly to me, I was speechless, it is S-H-O-C-K-I-N-G.  Not once have I made a derogatory remark about her to my brother in all this and so I do not deserve such abuse. After talking with OH this weekend he doesn't think it's a good idea to paste the whole text here as then it's on the internet forever (plus you would be so outraged you'd fall off your chair and I don't want you to injure yourself), but there is one line that I think you will all appreciate is incredibly hurtful (written in text speak as well!), bear in mind she is fully aware of our infertility issues:

"u. sud concentrate on yr family and not mine as we have moved on to the next stage by making a baby out of our love 4 1another & giving yr mum & dad their 1st grandchild & they cant wait bless them."

I have literally been in shock since I got the text. I have forwarded it on to my brother so he can see for himself, of course there has been no reply. I intend to lay low for now, go away on my snowboarding holiday and forget about it all, it's been going on for two weeks today and I'm tired of it, tired of feeling upset about it.

This weekend we travelled up North to see my parents, this is the first time in about 6 months that we have seen them on our own (without my brother/SIL) and my dad feeling well again. It was really really nice. We had fun, took them out and about and it was relaxing, a welcome relief. I haven't mentioned anything about the SIL saga, I don't want them to be involved if I can avoid it.

On to happier things, I'm on a countdown to snowboarding, we are off on a last minute trip on Saturday to Tignes in France with the lovely Mr & Mrs B, only 5 sleeps to go. 

Must remember my mantra too (thanks @saleschick for reminding me!)
  • Take one day at a time
  • Be strong
  • I can do this


  1. Yay, snowboarding will be brilliant! There's nothing like being on a snowy mountain to take your mind off the real world!

    So sorry about your SIL, she will be sorry in the end when she realises she's lost your support. Can't be easy on your poor brother either xx

  2. That is a really nasty text. Not what you need when you are about to start an IVF cycle.

    Have a good snowboarding holiday.

  3. Oh Moon. I am so angry for you right now! What a bitch. I don't know how this all started but she clearly isn't a very nice person to be behaving like this no matter what may have led up to it. How absolutely awful for you.

    How to resolve it? You definitely need resolution in order to de-stress before and during your next cycle. What a selfish, selfish woman to cause you all this upset. I'm not even going to comment on the text, just make sure you keep a copy of it. One day you may just want to post it on Facebook or show it to your parents (and to her parents). To be honest, that's what I'd do "name and shame", and disseminate the text far and wide...but then, I am probably not as nice as you!

    So what are you going to do? Snowboarding sounds like a useful interim measure :) Good luck. We are all on your side!! xx

  4. One day at a time, each day stronger than the other, you can do this... You CAN do this...

    I dont know your SIL situation, but i have learned over time that people who have never been through heartache - true heartache - can never understand, nor even comprehend what it is like to hurt, so most of the time they end up hurting others by their words because in their eyes they cant understand why or how someone could hurt so much.

    I am not excusing her behavior - it is wrong and hurtful, but deep inside of that spite and hate she simply just has no idea what it is like to hurt from so deep inside. She probably has no idea what it is like to want something with all her heart and know that there is nothing she can do on this earth to make it happen...

    I believe that it is the suffering and the trials that we face that make us who we are, and i HONESTLY believe that those of us who have struggled and have faced true heartache are BETTER people, we are the ones that understand life, we are the ones who appreciate what we have been given, and we are the ones who never take anything for granted.

    When you are old, when you have lived your life, you will look back on it knowing that you got the most out of what you were given, and you appreciated it with all that was inside of you, where as your SIL, she will NEVER have that satisfaction, she will simply grow old never satisfied and never grateful for the people and the love that surrounds her.

    Just remember your mantra, and if i have learned anything during my infertile time, it was that the people who stick by you - they are your true friends and family, they are the ones that deserve your time and energy - no one else.

    Sending you lots of love and hugs

  5. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, I appreciate this so much as I am at a loss of what to do. You're all full of wise words and I will take some time to contemplate all of this and decide what to do next, I think for now, I will lay low and wait (and ponder some more!). I've made it clear to my brother that I want to move on from this and I received the abusive text the next day from my SIL, I forwarded a copy to him and so I think I will leave them to sort themselves out and hopefully tackle somehow when I'm back from my holiday and before my new cycle starts.

    Thank you ladies <3

  6. Im so glad that Mooncat is back at home and happy again.

    Your SIL sounds like a nasty piece of work. Im sorry you are subjected to her rudeness and down right bitchiness. Karma is a bitch and she had better watch out. Im sure your brother will come around, he probably feels stuck between a rock and a hard place.

    My only advice when it comes SIL's is to let it wash over you. Its taken me a good 12 months to get to this stage so I know its super hard, but if you can manage it, it will remove so much heartache.

    I listened to a great podcast which helped me to better understand this concept which you can download free from iTunes. The podcast is called Redefining Fertility and the episode is called Water off a ducks back (16 Aug 2010)
    Hope you find it helpful.

    Take care of you, you are a super strong lady and I know you will conquer this.

    Huge hugs

  7. Wow, I'm so sorry. My ex-SIL was the same way - when she didn't get her way, she would always go for the "You're not a mom so you'll never understand/be a real part of the family" wound. She knew it would hurt every time! I'm so glad she's not a part of our lives anymore. I'm so sorry you're going through this!