I'm Back

. . . and raring to go, I 'think'.

Yup, I've still been in hiding since my last post . . . seems I needed more time to get over our first failed treatment cycle, especially with the festive season too, it was harder than I expected and I guess it was a bit of self preservation and I couldn't bring myself to write about the difficult days, it was too depressing.  I tried to keep up with my tweeps though on twitter and that certainly helped get through some of the tougher days (thank you ladies). But, I 'think' I'm back on track a bit more now, new year, new start, same old mantra, LOL

• Take one day at a time
• Be strong
• I can do this

I don't want to dwell on the last few weeks as it doesn't make fun reading and I'm not sure it will be therapeutic for me but I will mention a few things to put you in the picture. Since finding out the treatment didn't work I think the hardest things have been facing my family and newly pregnant SIL and also trying to adjust being back at work and being 'normal', in hindsight I should have realised these would both be impossible tasks. To top it off I came down with a nasty viral chest infection a few days before Christmas day and so I had a trip to the doctor [first time in ages for something other than infertility related, novel] and I have consumed nearly one whole little bottle of honey and 2 lemons and I think I'm only just about over it, right in time for going back to work, perfect!

Christmas with the family was HARD, that's all I'm saying on that topic, we were so glad to back to our own space a few days later . . . New Years Eve was much better, but as expected when midnight struck it was emotional for us both, the end of such a horrible horrible year, full of sadness, we were both completely drained from all the emotional turmoil and I guess it had to take it's toll at some point. Ha, New Years Day was hilarious, we were both feeling so down that we stayed in our pyjama's till like mid-afternoon, haven't done that in years, it felt good and by the evening we were thinking about the year ahead and our hope felt a little renewed.

On the infertility front, we have made progress (with a little help from my tweep, thank you @IVFLondon), I called the new clinic, Herts & Essex, and the woman on the phone was really lovely, all I needed was a copy of my medical notes and I can book my private cycle, yay. I ordered a copy of my notes from Bourn Hall and they arrived last week, it's like a different language though, not sure what most of it means but I plan to look a few things up to see if I can work it out, plus we have our follow-up appointment with them on 31 January. 

So our first consultation appointment is booked with the new clinic, I had a pick of dates actually (makes for a nice change) and chose 4 February, after our Bourn Hall follow-up appointment as we might be more informed by then and also after our holiday, did I mention I'm going on holiday [yawn] ;-)

OH left this morning for the airport already, he has to do a few days at the Bangkok office before I go out to meet him, boo, miss him already [sad but true]. But only 4 sleeps to go!

I fly out on Thursday evening to meet him and then we travel from there to Kuala Lumpur, in Malaysia the next day to see the in-laws for about 9 days and then back to Thailand to an amazing resort I found in Phuket for 5 days, bring it on!

ps - I've been tinkering with my blog lay out too, I've add some 'pages' at the top left of the page that you can click on, think I might store other bit and bobs on here and remove them from the main page, any brighter ideas you bloggers might have let me know :-)

pps - it's good to be back