Seconds Out, Round Two

Today I started our second IVF/ICSI cycle.

First thing this morning I injected buserelin (Suprecur) . . . no major panic, I just did it, I didn't even take a photo this time, I guess this is what happens second time round. Even though I didn't inject buserelin in my first cycle (I used a nasal spray 3 times/day) I'm a bit of a dab hand at injecting after all those shots of Gonal F and so it was pretty uneventful.

I've nothing much to report really, I feel less anxious than I did last week about starting today and have just kind of accepted it I guess. I've tried to stay busy today (baking, shopping, cooking, tweeting, blogging) and not dwell on what I'm doing or over analyse anything, seems to be working so far.

There is an update on the brother-crazy SIL gate, he texted late last week to say can we put our meeting on hold, he'd like to be upfront with my SIL and needs to pick the right time to speak to her. I was a bit annoyed at first (he could have discussed this with my SIL without me even knowing and then got in touch if there was an issue . . . of course there is going to be an issue) but after a few minutes I just felt sorry for him, such a sad situation that he has to ask to see his sister.  So we wait. I'm a dab hand at that too.

Anyhoo, I've now got the Zita West relaxation CDFs loaded on to my iPhone so all good to make a start this week and I have my acupuncture appointment on Tuesday with Dr Angel too. So by Wednesday I'm hope to be floating :-)

Moon's Butterfly Cakes

Trigger Happy

I waited all day for the magic phone call from the clinic to confirm if I will be taking my HCG trigger injection tonight and if so, at what time. From what I've read the timing is crucial as they will perform my egg collection about 36 hours later. By 3:30pm I grew tired of waiting and called the clinic, they said they were just working on it and I should expect a call soon . . . waited some more and then they finally called at 4:30pm with all the details -

• Take my last Suprecur nasal spray sniff tonight as usual
• Take the HCG trigger injection (Ovitrelle) at 11pm 
• Don't worry about the air bubble, just inject
• Thursday will be a drug-free day (woo hoo)
• Light breakfast before 8am, no food/drink after this time
• Report to the clinic for 9am
• OH will produce his sample at the clinic (nice)
• I'll be in theatre about 10:30am (eek)
• I can watch the egg collection on the screen

I think the nurse on the phone could sense my fear, she reassured me and told me everything would be ok, I managed to hold it together until I put the phone down. I had a big rush of emotion and literally just burst into tears, good job no one else was in the office (wuss I know).
i.am.petrified. I think it's the fear of the unknown and the thought of needing all those drugs to get through the procedure scares me. My evening didn't improve much, I'm feeling pretty emotional and overwhelmed by it all. I wish I could share half the drugs and procedures with my OH, might make it less scary, instead I feel alone again today . . . just want the procedure over and done with.
So my trigger is at 11pm so I thought I'd write my blog entry now and then I will update it either later tonight or tomorrow, I figure I might be best going straight to bed afterwards, after a quick tweet of course ;-)

Update post trigger

I did it, bang on 11pm, woo hoo, trigger happy.

Despite Dr Google, it did not sting at all, it was not as easy as the Gonal F stimm injections, the needle didn't glide in as smoothly but other than that it was ok.

Come on eggies.

Jabba Jabba Doo

• Injection #4, done
• My technique, fail :-(

Hmm injection hurt a bit again tonight, OH thinks that when I injected so well that first day that my other hand was supporting the injection pen where it is entering my tummy to hold it steady, so will have to try that again tomorrow. Never mind though, the raspberry trifle I had later more than made up for the pain [dairy and fruit all in one pot, what more could I ask for? all part of the must.put.on.a.few.pounds campaign].

Still suffering from a little insomnia and it's irritating, no sleep = a grumpy Moon.

Tried to look up some practical tips to help and found the following in case any one is suffering the same -

• Avoid drinking caffeine drinks (I've ditched the caffeine already)
• Avoid alcohol for 2 hours before bed time (ditto)
• Relax in the bath tub (hmm maybe, I'm a shower kinda gal)
• Listen to quiet, relaxing music
• Exercise during the day but avoid 2 hours before bed time (meh)
• Avoid eating late in the evening (okay)
• Avoid working on a computer before bed (hmm point taken)

On that note, I'll close my laptop and retire for the evening, good night!
 

i.am.spoilt

First things first, symptoms this weekend include . . .

• Feeling a tad bit irritable (just in time for the weekend, fab)
• Odd twinges here and there
• Feeling lazy (a symptom in my book)
• Bit spaced out after my 1st and 2nd injection for about 30 minutes
• Instances of stuck-in-pyjamas-syndrome!

Hmm as my first injection went so well I was a bit over confident with injection #2 on Saturday evening, I just wanted to get it over and done with so I moved at quick speed! Err not recommended for us first timers . . . forgot to pinch my skin to get that roll of fat (d'oh) and so it hurt a bit more than the day before, maybe I hit a capillary, I'm not sure. I thought today's injection #3 would be better, didn't rush this time, but then I forgot to let go of my roll of fat (nice) after injecting and clicking the doses in (double d'oh) so it still hurt a bit!? Maybe that's a symptom, lack of concentration!

I've been worrying a bit more than usual today about anything related to my treatment, the clinic didn't give me any advice on what I do when I'm getting to the end of one of my Gonal F injection pens, am I expected to do a partial dose from my current pen and a partial dose from my new pen, or just use a new pen? according to my tweeps, yes, 2 needles, boo. Given my poor performance with the needles this weekend I think it's wise to use my new injection pen tomorrow and later in the week when I've got the hang of it I will do the 2 partial doses and 2 needles in one night thing.  Also I've been concerned for a little while that for my first IVF cycle I appear to be missing a baseline scan, instead I went straight from down reg to stimm injections all by a mere phone call, feels a bit odd to me but I've done some research online and I think Bourn Hall just doesn't do them any more if you start down reg on Cycle Day 21 (I have been sniffing for 30 days now! yawn) and I wonder if it's because I'm NHS too. OH assures me that I'm sure the clinic knows what they're doing :-)

Anyhoo, back to the title of my post today, i.am.spoilt . . . that appears to be me this weekend -

Breakfast in bed
OH offered to help make my blog look pretty (hope you like it)
One v small glass of wine on Saturday (is that a crime at this stage??)
A lush lemon drizzle cake candle (smells divine) and . . .


 


. . . yummy chocolate cupcakes (we have demolished them all already!) from two very sweet friends.

i.am.spoilt.and.i.like.it.very.much

Shooting Up!

It's my first stimming injection day, repeated the mantras several times this evening, LOL!

• Take one day at a time
• Be strong
• I can do this

I can do this, errr can I!!? eeeeek
I was in denial for most of the day, too preoccupied with work (guess it does have its uses sometimes) . . . I knew I could do it, I was just feeling petrified about having to prick myself with the needle for the first time, millions of people do it and are fine I'm sure!  
 

I got everything out, all nice and straight :-) To psych myself up I watched the video again and then once more for good measure, right, I can do this!

Alcohol swabs at the ready too!  I've posted  a picture of the needle too in case any one wants to see, it's fairly small, but suddenly looks way bigger as you're about to stab it in :-)
Consulted my notes (several times), whilst my OH stood by (camera at the ready) with encouraging excited smiles, I'm looking petrified (obviously!).

Videoing it was banned this evening, need to concentrate!

3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

No, can't do it, LOL.

3 . . . 2 . . . stab, ha! :)

Easy peasy. The scariest bit is stabbing the needle in, once it's in you really can't feel it. I clicked in the doses and I thought you would be able to feel the drugs going in at each click, but surprisingly you can't. In my relief I lifted my thumb off the plunger button for a second or two (d'oh), but quickly put it back on before withdrawing the needle.
What a relief.  OH observes closely to see emergence of a second head, no sign so far ;-)

To Swab or Not to Swab

25th day of sniffing today (yawn)

Getting a bit bored of sniffing Suprecur for down regulating now :-/ can we move on to the next stage now, pretty please (with a cherry on top).  My symptoms are thankfully starting to settle down a bit now though, insomnia is less frequent, headaches have passed and only the odd twinge of pain here and there. My clinic (Bourn Hall) said that I will be starting my Gonal F stimulation injections in the week commencing 1 November . . . well I waited, and waited, and waited some more to hear from them and finally they called yesterday afternoon, seems I will be starting them on Friday 5 November, feels like an age to wait! Even though I'm petrified of starting I was a little disappointed that I have to wait some more till the end of the week. My first monitoring visit to check on my follicles is planned for Thursday 11 November. That's all I know so far . . . as one of my fellow IVF'er twitter-er commented @IVFLondonUK, it's like the CIA, they only give out info on a need to know basis, well I need to know more :-)
Had a little panic on Sunday that I'd forgotten what the pharmacist lady had said about administering the Gonal F injection pen . . . well fear no more, the internet has everything a girl can need. I searched on YouTube and found several (some hilarious) videos on how to do it, I'm not sure some of them helped, but I did find one that I think is worthy of mentioning (Link to Gonal F video).  64 million dollar question is though . . .

To swab or not to swab!

My clinic didn't send me any alcohol swabs but every video I've watched mentions it and so Twitter to the rescue, everyone is using them! I asked the clinic when they called and the nurse assured me that I don't need them, too late though my OH had nipped out of work to buy me some (bless). To.swab.or.not.to.swab gate has continued today, I think it's a UK vs US thing, anyhoo, I think I'm convinced to swab now thank you very much.
My stress levels during this entire process have reached all new highs (events at my lovely workplace not making this any easier, how kind of them), how is it possible to stay calm and stress free if you've haven't been through IVF before though? I did find an interesting article from the Telegraph (how intellectual!) about stress and it's effects on IVF and was really surprised by what I found - Link to 'Being-stressed-might-help-IVF-women-get-pregnant'
I'm not sure what to make of it, but if it's right, well I'm on to a winner!

Drugs R Us

I sat at home waiting patiently for my drugs to arrive . . . I'm supposed to be "working from home", hmm not a whole lot of work going on here, I can tell ya, Facebook, Twitter, Gmail, Jeremy Kyle (tee hee, any distraction will do this morning).

I finally get the magic phone call about 10:30am, the courier is just round the corner, sounds like a nice man :-)

Errr blimey, that's a BIG box, why have I been sent such a BIG box :-(

I carefully unpack, stack everything neatly!  Take a photo (of course).

Errr not just nasal sprays and needles then, why the hell do I have 3 boxes of progesterone vaginal gel, no one told me about that . . . wtf

Deep breaths . . . just stack them nice and neatly.

Panic over, they have sent a lovely purple carry case, all is forgiven.

I meticulously do down the check list, everything present and correct, needles in the fridge (interesting next to the wine and milk) and the rest at room temperature. Will study everything more closely when I get back home tonight, omg I start on Friday :-/