Stuck in the Maze

It’s nearly two weeks since my last post . . . where have I been?

• In hiding (yep I’m hiding from ‘my’ own blog, hilarious but true)
• In counselling
• In shopping malls
• Watching Greys Anatomy
• Tying ribbons to confetti cones

I’ve had another tough couple of weeks, my only way through seems to be retract from some aspects of my life and take one day at a time. I’ve been back on twitter a little bit and so some of you may already know what I’ve been up to lately, I’m getting there slowly, but still stuck in the maze running from that black cloud.

Mr Moon has been taking good care of me with flowers and gifts, anything to bring a little smile to my face.

I am happiest at home when we’re in our cocoon where everything seems safe and I can convince myself I can do this, one step out of the door and that confidence quickly fades though. Ms Mellow, my counsellor, is trying to help me with this and is convincing me that I am indeed coping, maybe not as well as I would like (always a high achiever!) but this is ‘coping’, I have not yet fallen into a heap and not got back up again.  I’m keeping up the acupuncture with Dr Angel and I’m still doing the yoga, so keeping my head above water, just.

I’ve also kept myself occupied with bridesmaid activities, my dress is being collected today and the celebratory activities have already started last weekend, only one more day at work and I’m off, yay. I have made some beautiful confetti cones with bits of ribbon tied around them in bows, if you know me in real life, each one has been meticulously made, checked and double checked for perfection.

In other news, Mr Moon has a new job (woo hoo) so this is great to have some good news amongst all the bad. We had our chromosome karyotyping results back too and these are all clear. We’re just waiting on one more test for Mr Moon and then I’ll ask him to write a blog post on all the latest results he’s had.   In celebration of Mr Moon’s success I treated myself with Mr Moon’s money (ha haa) to a shopping trip to the Pandora shop and have a new bracelet with charms, I find a girl cannot have enough charm type bracelets :-)

I’m getting closer and closer to cycle 3 . . . the day after the wedding we will rush back home so I can administer my first down reg injection, how’s that for timing!  I wanted to start after the wedding so I could shift that horrid IVF bloat and have some bubbles to celebrate on the day, the way the dates have fallen means I literally start the next day. I haven’t given it much thought yet, guess I know the drill now, I’m sure the nerves will settle in on Sunday though.

By the way, @toofriedeggs posted this great article on twitter today about The Age of Mechanical Reproduction by Paul Ford, an alternative view on this whole IVF business, a good read if you fancy a peek.